I love it & I hate it / Kidney Failure / Till death do us part - We're Married

Make the Time for People Worth It


You meet tons of people.  Few cross over from friendly acquaintance to  being REAL friends.  You’ve got acquaintances, party friends you see every weekend, work peoples you do lunch with, neighbours you are friendly with, friends of friends,bar buddies,  etc.  But, what I mean are REAL friends that you can expose your biggest fear to, that you feel just as close today as you were months/years ago when you last saw/spoke to them,that you would trust your children with.

Like a fresh relationship, especially as an adult, you don’t know if this passing acquaintance will become a true friendship outside the environment you know them for.  and that’s ok.  Sometimes people are just nice to chat with during the hour workout or at your kid’s activity or at the party or at the dog park or at the bar.

I met a beautiful group of ladies when my first was growing from baby to toddler.  There was 10 in total.  Warm, kind, funny, successful, good looking group we were.  It was like a Benetton ad. (anyone remember those or am I dating myself again? lol) We’d meet once a week as we took turns hosting.  Then slowly we each went back to work.  With precious little time between work, kids, and life we saw each other less and less.

For those technically savvy, we have been able to keep up with the milestones and for the most part everyday life.  For a few, we still have playdates with snacks/lunch.  I’m sure with the combination of warm weather, maternity leave, and summer break we’ll see each other more.

I was lucky enough to see one of the ladies last night.  My heart actually ached a bit when we saw her and her husband.  I miss her and her family.  She is a beautiful person and her husband and Franklin share the machismo jokes.  Wish she lived closer.

We have another couple that we love hanging out with.  The husbands, us wives, and the children all get along.  It is so rare to find that.  It’s so uncanny how much our lives are similar.  She is also Jamaican Chinese, has been with her husband since high school, and is a generous, kind soul.

Have to include my ketchup girl.  So insightful and thoughtful.  I will always remember her asking me outside the YMCA if everything was all right.  I was caught off guard.  She didn’t know that Franklin was having a bad time and I was wearing my everything-is-great mask.  How did she know?  I was touched.  Someone close to her in her family also had kidney problems and had gone through dialysis before so she actually knew some of the life I had to live.   I am thankful.

And I’d fail as a friend if I didn’t include my elementary school friend who runs deep in my heart.  She is also Jamaican Chinese, funny, understanding, cool, beautiful, righteous chick.

Be it a moms group, a chance meeting at a garage sale, or through friends, I am lucky to have have crossed paths with these people and so many more I could list (if I haven’t listed you, it’s not because you are any less a true friend. and as a true friend, you already know that).  Not everyone ‘gets’ me.  But, I think everyone can say that.  You either ‘click’ or you don’t.

I’ve been ‘friends’ with tons of people in this life time, but very few do I open my life to.   I wouldn’t make plans for years because so many things have been canceled due to Franklin’s health.  I’m sure they all understood, but I just couldn’t deal with it.  I didn’t want anyone’s pity.  Nor could I handle the mounting number of disappointments.  It’s just easier to call on the fly when we have a ‘good’ day.

Fortunately, Franklin’s slowly have many more better days (the past 2 months excluded) and I want to make plans again.  Plans to make the time for the special people worth the effort it takes to arrange it.  Special people who will still love us and understand if we have something come up….again.  Special people who are worth the 1.5 hr drive to spend the day with.  Special friends who are REAL friends.

Don’t let life’s hiccups and busy schedules make everyday pass by so quickly.   You just never know what will happen tomorrow.  Make the time and effort it takes to enjoy the people in your life today.  They are worth it.  And so are you.

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
– Charles Caleb Colton


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One thought on “Make the Time for People Worth It

  1. My dear friend, even though it was a very brief encounter, my husband and I were fill with joy yesterday to see the three of you (we missed M.) we were talking in our way home about the special connection we have with you. We are looking forward to meet you again soon.

    Love,
    N

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