Encapsulating Peritoneal Sclerosis (EPS) / I'll tell ya - Posts with Polls / Kidney Failure / Till death do us part - We're Married

Balancing – Final Act (He’s Home)


After a crazy 5 days documented in my Balancing series, Franklin is back home.

I want to thank everyone for their support, kind words, and love.  I appreciate you reading our journey and trying to understand someone of the ups and downs that is our lives.

He was finally discharged.  Not 100%, but at least he’s not on morphine and can recoup at home.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love that he is home.  It has been an empty shell at home in the house and in my heart.  But, when I wake up at 5:30am with baby 2, then baby 1 wakes up at 7am, having Franklin wake me to rub his back at 1am is just frustrating.  The first night, I guess I’m just so grateful he’s home and I don’t mind.  But by the second night I’m telling him to go sit in the Shiatsu Massage chair.

It doesn’t help that just before this episode he fell hard twice on the ice and banged up his elbow.  He had to be assisted off the ice.   We went to the hospital for x-rays.  It was so swollen his elbow looked disfigured.  Plus it was the arm that has his fistula, so I wanted to ensure that his life saving vein was still working and not ruptured or anything.  Then it was 1.5 weeks of “my arm…moan….”.

Before the elbow episode The Husband stepped off the porch, missed the step while carrying baby 2 in his bucket car seat, and landed on his ankle.  As I was strapping in our toddler all I hear is “THUD! FUKC!!!”.  I turn around to see the car seat safely on the ground and Franklin walking around swearing.  Baby 2 is crying.  Franklin is swearing.  Our toddler is yelling at Franklin “Language Daddy! Language Daddy!”.  I get into triage mind-set.   Assess the situation.  Tend to the most injured.  Check on baby 2.  Open door for Husband.  Go get Toddler.  Now, off to another trip to the hospital.  Another couple of weeks he needed to recoup.

The laundry piles.  The groceries dwindle.  The house could be more tidy.  But, those things will get done eventually. You don’t want to stress over it, but it’s the one thing you do have control over and it’s not getting done.  His pain I can’t do anything about.  So household b.s. sits on my shoulders because at least I can do something about it.  Watching my man in pain leaves me feeling helpless and useless.  Silly.  Probably.  But, I think we strive to control the things we can and roll with the punches with the things we can’t.  There’s so much that I can’t control in our lives, I guess I over compensate with the things I think I have control over.

My husband is resilient.  When he is on a good day, he is so happy, filled with jokes, and a great guy.  He still wants to go skating.  He still faces each day.  I love him.

Bad things happen in threes.  So hopefully, we have had our share and are set for good times ahead.

Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

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