I love it & I hate it / I'll tell ya - Posts with Polls

Good Luck or Cash Grab?


If you are married then you are expected to pass on your good fortune to the children and singletons. The money train pulls in at the yearly Chinese New Year 10-course dinner with 40+ people of immediate family and first cousin level family.

As a non-married person, particularly in my youth, it was great. Piles of lucky red envelopes filled with money. It’s add up to a trip to the mall for clothes/shoes and/or movies and food. As I grew older-older I felt embarrassed to accept the envelopes. Franklin and I have been together over 10+ years. I’m finished school, working and on my way to buying my first home.

It’s a little different now. I’m married with children. Handing out red envelopes to the masses is part of our yearly budget. Of course a little extra goes to my darling nieces. I love them as if they were my own daughters. Then there’s all the children that are in elementary school. If they are still in school, be it University or High School, then I think they should. Now, for the cousins who are grown up and out of University and working. Should they still get? How about the ones that are older than me and are working? Should their bf/gf get one too? There are an additional 9 people then. 20 people. Varying amounts. Then dinner costs. Uggghh!

The reality is, it’s all worth it. They are family and I wish them all great health, happiness, and prosperity. Just like the I HATE You post:

“There’s so many variations that are the same:

1. Do unto others as others do unto you.

2. What goes around comes around.

3. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

4. What you put out is what you’re going to get.”

We will put out these positive vibes and be thankful that we are expected to give out the red envelopes. I have a great family, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and am healthy. I hope every lucky recipient gets that in their life too.

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6 thoughts on “Good Luck or Cash Grab?

  1. You might laugh at me but i can honestly say that i felt really uncomfortable accepting those red envelopes the first few years. Coming from years of counting every penny I had so that i’d know exactly how much i had to buy milk/bread or any necessity. I never even accept money from my Abuelita! It was definitely a strange concept to me. Then to see how all the unmarried, young received them… all i could think of was how the adults where able to budget for something like that. Then to make matters worse, there was that one year I brought my little sister so that she could experience the food which is DELICIOUS. Only to feed 10x worse when i realized she was one more person included in the red envelope pool. Maybe I’m just weird/crazy like that but maybe there should be some kind of cap, limitation or exception.

    • When your culture does not practice the same traditions, it can be seem strange to accept money. I think your reaction to it is one reason I want to give you a red envelope, and not feel obligated to. You don’t see it as a cash grab and only come out when there’s envelopes to be given. You are family and we can count on you to attend family functions, not when it’s only envelopes and christmas presents. For those who are out of school and working, I give a X amount. For those still in high school/university I give Y amount. For children I give Z amount. For my special people, nieces & dave, they get ABC amount.

      Don’t sweat bringing your sister. I’m glad you want to share our family with yours, instead of hiding them from our craziness. lol. And we almost killed her, so I guess we’re even. At least she learned she was allergic to jelly fish!

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