Toilette humour

I smell $h!t. Do you smell that?!?


Have you ever potty trained a kid?!?  It’s my first time and man, are there ups and downs.  And the downs are all gross!

UP:

M-Dawg:  Can I use the potty mommy?

Me:  Yes! Yes!  Of course!  Come, let me undo your onesy.

M-Dawg: (Runs over and puts his arms up to take it off)

Me: (thinks: off??  ummm..whatever….go with it)

M-Dawg:  Look mommy!  Look!

Me:  Awesome!  Amazing!  Way to go buddy!  You did it!  You did it!  Let’s call po-po and gung-gung and tell them! (grandmother and grandfather from mother’s side in Chinese)

M-Dawg:  I get TWO wine gums mommy.

Me:  ok.  That was the deal. (how’d he remember that?!?)  Now, let’s put your clothes back on.

M-Dawg:  Noooooooooooo! (Run around living room naked for45 mins)

DOWN:

Marky Marc has taken off his PJs on the pretext of going to use the potty. It worked last time, so why not?

Frankie:  I smell shit.  Do you smell that?  (Comes down the stairs after waking up)

Marky Marc: LANGUAGE DADDY!

Me:  Yeah, Daddy.  LANGUAGE!  Maybe it’s your upper lip? (smirk)

Frankie:  No Seriously.  Marcus, did you poo?

Marky Marc: Nooooooo (giggles)

Frankie:  What IS that?!  Marcus, did you POO?!

Marky Marc: Noooo (giggles)

Frankie: (looks around and sees his PJs and underpants lying on the floor with POO in IT!) MARCUS!!

Me:  MARCUS!! (Marky Marc turns to run away and now you can see his butt…that’s all I’m sayin’) DO NOT SIT ON THAT!!  Get upstairs! Get upstairs!

Marky Marc: HA HA HA HA HA!  (sits down)

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