Toilette humour

Potty Mouth – LITERALLY


ewww! ewww! ewww!  You’d think I would know better by now.

It starts off with a 4:13am wake up cry.  At first it sounded like mwah mwah mwah mwah like Charlie Brown’s teacher.  Then you slowly figure it out.  PICK ME UP! MY DIAPER IS DIRTY! FEED ME!  The more intense crying then the 1:15am cry.  Hey, after 3-months of interrupted sleep, you’re not always as swift.   You try it!  Also, it used to be the 3am show.  Check my FB posts to see the pattern.

But, I digress.  As I change his diaper I’m doing things via small lamp lighting.  I’ve done this a gajillion times.  No problem right?  I’m singing a little ditty that goes like this “You’re name is Lucas.  My name is Mommy.  His name is Marcus.  And Daddy too.  We all love you every daaaaaaay, even when you pee or poo” (in the tune of “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine”)

Well, when you change boys you either have to be FAST or PREPARED.

By being prepared you have to:

  1. Put a tissue over their goo-goo while you do everything.  i.e. put their hand mittens back on, wiping, putting on butt cream, that kinda stuff
  2. KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!

I obviously wasn’t “prepared” at 4:30am and I knew it once  the fluid hit my lips.  OMG!  That woke my ass up real quick.

note to self: Be faster at changing diapers

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