A dear friend of mine let me know that their marriage was not working and a separation was inevitable. I wish I was there to give her a big hug and just hold her. She wasn’t crying. More matter of fact. So I suspect that this hurt feeling has been for some time and has reached the point of no return. When you don’t love anymore, there is no foundation for hurt feelings, happiness, nor anger. I guess that’s where the saying goes that arguing is healthy. there’s still hope.
When something like this happens close to home, it makes me reflect on my own life. How the hell have I been with Franklin for 20-yrs?! We’ve had a couple of breaks in our early years during high school and university, but that just helped me appreciate that Franklin is a good man. Dating was tricky. Met some good people, but way too many that only had sex on the brain, played games, and b.s. like that.
A relationship is not always easy . Be it with friends, family, co-workers, your spouse, or your teenage children! (from what I hear about them youths. I’m already scared how that’ll be :P)
Franklin and I are not always on the same page. We have disagreements about big stuff like his dialysis treatments at home and petty stuff like leaving dishes on the counter instead of the sink. But, after 2-days of it being on the counter, frackin‘ clean it! That’s all I’m saying. lol…can you tell which petty complaint I have??
Try having SEX with same person year after year. Sex in the City doesn’t focus on any of that. It does take effort on both parts. The ‘honeymoon’ period, 1-yr for some, 10-yrs for others, makes it easy to make sweet love to your partner. But, throw kids, a mortgage, aging parents, health issues, sleep deprivation, etc. then you sometimes have to make an extra effort. Date nights, Fantasy, Role Playing, Toys, Stories, WHATEVER! Just make sure you do them with your husband/wife and not the hottie at work 😛
A couple of things I’ve learned (and no, the below list does not have specific sex positions to help you survive 20-yrs, experiment for yourself!):
Choose your battles – Sometime it’s not worth arguing over.
Speak your mind – If you keep emotions bottled up, you just grow to resent the other person.
It’s the little things that add up – Make an effort to make the other person feel special. A phone call to say I love you. An emailed article about a topic they might like. A special meal after a rough week.
Looks do matter – Keep looking good for your partner and for yourself. Nobody finds a slop who is fat & sweaty attractive. B.O. is NOT sexy…ewww
Forgive – It’s probably one of the harder ones, but is one of the strongest tools. I find it particularly hard when The Husband is ‘sorry’ for the same frackin‘ thing AGAIN. Put your dishes in the sink already!!
When the stars are all aligned and Franklin’s does all of the above, I know I’m happy.